brewing thoughts

Posted By mazel on June 26, 2009

to everyone who remembered and greeted me, thank you very much!

it’s been 2 days after my 27th, but i think i’m still in denial. haha. i think this is the first time that i really noticed my age. i’m not getting any younger, and what have i done with my life so far?

i have a good job, a supportive family, good friends and a very special someone. i’ve been busy with things that i considered important in life, and i’ve tried my best to share what i have to those who doesn’t have enough. i tried to inspire others with my smile and laughter, but i also try to inspire them with my life.

i’ve grown a lot, mentally and emotionally. and i still have so much to learn from life. so what can i say? BRING IT ON!

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Posted By mazel on June 16, 2009

in the midst of the chaos around me, i’m choosing to be indifferent and neutral. as i’ve said, this is between those people involved. and besides, the more people talk about this, the more i feel that this is becoming more and more like slander or gossip. as i’ve been taught before, if i couldn’t help or give a solution or if i’m not directly involved in the matter, it’s better to stay out of it.

but being indifferent doesn’t mean that i’m not concerned with what’s happening to them. in my heart, i’m praying and hoping earnestly that everything would be okay in the end. but i’m also quite aware that the healing process takes a lot of time, especially the forgiving part. so i guess i would let God’s hand take control on this.

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Posted By mazel on June 10, 2009

malapit na naman sumapit ang kaarawan ko. at tuwing dumarating ang ganitong panahon, naiisip ko kung ano nga ba ang nangyari noong nakaraang taon. ito ang mga panahon na tinatanong ko ang sarili ko kung gaano ba karami ang natutunan ko at gaano karami ang naituro ko sa iba, ilang tao ba ang naimpluwensyahan ko at ilan ang nakaimpluwensya sa akin, ilang tao ang natulungan ko at ilang tao ang nakaperwisyo ako.

ito rin ang mga panahon na inaaalala ko ang mga biyayang natanggap ko at mga bagay na dapat kong ipagpasalamat sa Diyos. ito ang mga panahon na nagmumuni muni ako kung naging makabuluhan ba ang buhay ko nitong 26 na taon na nandito ako as mundo.

hindi ko masasagot ang lahat ng ito, at ang tanging mahihiling ko lang ay sana mas nakatulong ako sa mga taong nasa paligid ko kaysa sa naging pabigat at perwisyo ako. at sana sa lahat ng nakilala ko ng nakalipas na 26 taon, maaalala nila ako bilang isang biyaya na ipinagkaloob sa kanila ng Diyos.

Category: how's me? | 2 Comments »
Tags: birthday

Posted By mazel on June 9, 2009

i have always been proud of my friends here in japan. though we’re all good friends, we have great respect for each other. maybe because we’re all professionals already, that having the proper ethics and etiquette is natural for us. living in japan without our families made us closer, we’re like brothers and sisters. the company of each other is like “home” for us.

though we’re close-knit, we’re not exclusive. we know that everyone just come and go, and that we’re not permanent residents of japan. and anyone could join us, but we somewhat expect that person to “adapt”. i’m not saying that he/she should change her characteristics for us, or that he/she would be discriminated. i’m just saying that in the group, we have respect for each other.

but recently, due to an unforeseen situation, we’re having some kind of problem in the group. i don’t want to elaborate on the subject cause it really pains me, but it really made me sad and disappointed. and i can’t help but to blame someone for what happened. and if only i could turn back time, maybe i could have done something.

honestly, i also felt scared. i was thinking, what if it also happens to me? and i also realize that i really don’t know this person, and that the time that we’ve spent with that person could have been all a lie.

in this experience, i’m really disappointed and sad. though i wasn’t directly involved, it felt that i was also deceived.

i don’t want to hate the person, but i am condoning what that person did. and for me, a broken trust is the hardest thing that could be mended.

Category: random rhetorics | No Comments »
Tags: disappointment, Friends, trust

Posted By mazel on May 21, 2009

Sabi nga ng kanta ng isa sa mga sikat na banda sa ‘pinas, “Uso pa ba ang harana?” Marahil marami ang magsasabi na hindi na nga uso ang sinaunang pamamaraan ng panliligaw na ito. Ika nga nila, nasa “computer-age” na tayo, hindi na ito “in” at marahil corny na sa paningin ng iba.

Para sa’kin, isa sa mga paraan para maramdaman ng isang babae ang pagmamahal ng isang lalaki ang pang haharana. Isa sa mga pangarap ko ang haranahin. Hindi man isang buong orkestra ang dala ng isang lalaki, kahit simpleng gitara o kahit akapela ay ayos na.

Madalas pag magkausap kami sa telepono, may mga pagkakataon na kumakanta kami ng mga awitin na parehong gusto/alam namin. Pero parating hindi tapos. Pero kagabi, nung magkausap kami sa telepono, kinantahan nya ako ng isang buong kanta. Alam kong nahihiya s’ya at may kataasan yung kanta, pero natutuwa ako kasi tinapos n’ya yung kanta. Kung itatanong n’yo kung ano yung kanta, ito yung kanta ni Regine Velasquez, “Pangarap Ko Ang Ibigin Ka”. Sinabi nya sa akin na ito yung kanta n’ya para sa akin. “Pangarap ko ang ibigin ka.. At sa habang panahon, ikaw ay makasama.. Ikaw na lang ang s’yang kulang sa buhay kong ito.. Pangarap ko ang ibigin ka..”

Sa mga nakakakilala sa akin, malaking parte ng buhay ko ang musika. At ang maranasan ang “panghaharana” na ginawa sa akin kagabi, hinding hindi ko makakalimutan ito. Kahit pa sabihin natin na ito’y panghaharana sa “computer-age”.

Category: literati | No Comments »
Tags: harana