an old friend from osaka stayed overnight with me last friday. she was one of my “ate” when i was in college, and now she just finished her doctorate degree in osaka.

while talking with her, i realized so many things. when i was in college and i joined this christian community in school, i sort of placed the “ate” and “kuya” (older sisters and brothers) in a pedestal. yeah, i did. they’re our role models, and i somehow forgot that they’re also humans. hehehe. so when i saw their faults and weaknesses, even if their mistakes were trivial, i was really hurt and very disappointed. i also came to a point that i was disillusioned to the community that i joined. there came a point that i had resentments not only at my brothers and sisters from the student sector, but also resentments from the other sectors. i almost came to a point of leaving the community. but i realized that i committed myself not to the community but to God, and that if i really want to grow spiritually, i would really need help from the community. so i decided to forgive and healing came.

right now, though there are still some things i don’t understand about why things happened, i don’t feel resentful to anyone nor did i have any regrets, ’cause when i was in college, i gave my heart to God, to my community and to my brothers and sisters.