i have always been proud of my friends here in japan. though we’re all good friends, we have great respect for each other. maybe because we’re all professionals already, that having the proper ethics and etiquette is natural for us. living in japan without our families made us closer, we’re like brothers and sisters. the company of each other is like “home” for us.

though we’re close-knit, we’re not exclusive. we know that everyone just come and go, and that we’re not permanent residents of japan. and anyone could join us, but we somewhat expect that person to “adapt”. i’m not saying that he/she should change her characteristics for us, or that he/she would be discriminated. i’m just saying that in the group, we have respect for each other.

but recently, due to an unforeseen situation, we’re having some kind of problem in the group. i don’t want to elaborate on the subject cause it really pains me, but it really made me sad and disappointed. and i can’t help but to blame someone for what happened. and if only i could turn back time, maybe i could have done something.

honestly, i also felt scared. i was thinking, what if it also happens to me? and i also realize that i really don’t know this person, and that the time that we’ve spent with that person could have been all a lie.

in this experience, i’m really disappointed and sad. though i wasn’t directly involved, it felt that i was also deceived.

i don’t want to hate the person, but i am condoning what that person did. and for me, a broken trust is the hardest thing that could be mended.